Let's All Go to the Movies
The movies are still a "night out".
It's an event, a happening, a to do, an occasion if you will. My wife and I still get excited, like giddy 5 year old children, when we get coupons to the movies as gifts, and we plot what movie we're going to see.
We've actually developed rules for movie going. We're not allowed to pay for movies anymore (Unless it's a rare Tuesday movie experience, when it's cheap night. Or we're heading to the drive-in where it's less expensive). It ensures we only see the good ones because we want to make sure the movie is "certificate worthy".
Also, there's no "taking turns" in picking movies. It MUST be mutually agreed on. I'm not allowed to force her to see a movie she doesn't want to see...and she can't make me go and see dumb girlie movies (HOW MANY TIMES CAN A GIRL SEE HUGH GRANT IN THE SAME ROLE IN THE SAME MOVIE, BUT A DIFFERENT TITLE!!!??? ).
The only way we can see a movie without the other person is if they don't want to see it, or the person isn't reading the book version of the movie fast enough. That's why my wife speaks fondly of seeing the last Harry Potter, and I have yet to see it. And that's also why she went to the library to get the next Harry Potter on tape...so I would listen to it in my car on the way to work...and be sure to catch the next one coming out this summer (yes...I'm a nerd...I also have a "kick me" sign somebody taped on my back).
You also HAVE to buy popcorn and a pop. Sometimes a movie experience is defined by the quality of popcorn.
That having been said, we need to force the movie industry to stop putting some movies out in theatres. We need to get rid of the buzz that "straight out to video" is a bad word, because I think there's a niche for it.
Here's the Hierarchy for movies the industry should adopt to ensure I get the most out of my certificate.
Only allowed to be in Theatres:
Cool action movies like "Transformers" because explosions are better on a big screen with BIG SOUND.
Romantic Comedies like "Pretty Woman" or any horror movie because they're good "First Date" movies (don't worry singles...I got your back).
Drive-In OR Straight to Video:
Good Comedy movies like "Van Wilder" or " Tropic Thunder" because there is NO reason I need to laugh with a group of people while hearing that twit in front of me repeat the joke I just heard like HE invented it.
I'll let Action movies into this ONLY because usually there's a double bill at a drive-in, and after laughing, it's cool to numb the brain more with a dumb action movie.
Straight to Video:
ANY and ALL drama movies like "Life is Beautiful". I'm not saying they aren't good movies. Quite the opposite. I'm just saying, I don't want to force myself to come up with an excuse as to why my eyes are welling up in a public place.
Spoof movies like "Scary Movie". Ok...first of all, these USED to be funny when "Airplane" and "Naked Gun" were around. Now they're just STUPID. They're mostly spoofs of bad movies now anyway.
You know what? NEW RULE! Spoof movies are now in the category of MOVIES THAT SHOULD NEVER BE MADE!
Sorry, Keenen Ivory Wayans...find a new career.
